The Big Game (We’re not allowed to call it the Super Bowl)

Because nothing says "America’s biggest sporting event" like aggressive trademark enforcement.

If you’ve ever wondered why every bar, ad, and grocery store promo refers to the Super Bowl as "the Big Game," here’s the deal: The NFL owns the term "Super Bowl" like it owns the turf under Patrick Mahomes' feet. And if you want to use it in advertising? You better be prepared to drop a few million dollars.

Since 1969, the NFL has held a tight grip on the trademark, which means any business that isn’t an official sponsor must tiptoe around it like they’re dodging a blitz. That’s why every beer ad, pizza chain, and TV promo suddenly sounds like a substitute teacher nervously explaining football: "Get ready for the Big Game this Sunday! Enjoy the Championship Football Event! Stock up for the Ultimate Bowl of Sports!"

The NFL takes this so seriously that it has:

• Sent cease-and-desist letters to churches for advertising watch parties
• Sued independent artists for making Super Bowl-themed T-shirts
• Tried (and failed) to trademark “The Big Game” just to make sure nobody else could use that either
• Once claimed bars couldn't show the game on TVs larger than 55 inches—which, if you’ve been to a Buffalo Wild Wings lately, feels hilariously outdated

Why does the league care? Because companies like Anheuser-Busch pay upwards of $250 million a year to be the exclusive alcohol sponsor of the game. And the NFL wants to make sure that investment isn’t watered down by a local bar running "Super Bowl Shot Specials" without paying their dues.

But here’s the fun part: You, an individual, can say "Super Bowl" all you want. You can even name your dog Super Bowl. You can scream it from the rooftops. Legally, this falls under "nominative fair use," a doctrine established when New Kids on the Block (yes, the boy band) sued a magazine over an unauthorized popularity poll in the ’90s. They lost, because there was no other way to accurately describe "New Kids on the Block" without, well, saying "New Kids on the Block."

Similarly, you can’t really describe the Super Bowl without calling it the Super Bowl. Which makes all this legal tap dancing even funnier.

Of course, if you want to be extra safe, you could always go the Stephen Colbert route and call it the "Superb Owl." Or just go rogue. Say "Super Bowl" in all your social media posts and see if the NFL personally shows up to tackle you.

Until then, enjoy the Big Game—just don’t put it on a T-shirt.