The Drink That Fights Back

Malört tastes like regret. Which is why it’s perfect.

Chicago’s proudest mistake in a bottle.

If you’ve ever taken a shot of Malört, congratulations. You now understand suffering. Originally distilled by Swedish immigrant Carl Jeppson in the 1930s, Malört was meant to be a Nordic-style brännvin, flavored solely with wormwood. The result? A beverage so aggressively bitter that it survived Prohibition because even the cops agreed it wasn’t for “recreational” consumption.

Jeppson, a man who allegedly smoked so many cigars that his taste buds were practically dead, sold Malört out of a suitcase on the streets of Chicago. It was so harsh that even bootleggers—people who made gin in bathtubs—weren’t interested. Yet somehow, it endured. Because Chicagoans, much like their drink of choice, are resilient, a little masochistic, and always up for a challenge.

For decades, Malört lived in the shadows, more of a Chicago drinking insider’s secret than a mainstream spirit. But in the early 2000s, the internet did what it does best: it turned Malört into a meme. The “Malört Face” challenge—a photographic collection of horrified first-time drinkers—went viral, proving that people will willingly ingest something terrible for entertainment. Demand surged, leading to a trademark battle over the word “Malört” itself. The drink had officially gone corporate.

Despite its newfound fame, Malört remains a uniquely Chicago experience. It’s still mostly consumed as a rite of passage, a test of character, or a unique form of social bonding. It’s been described as “hipster virtue-signaling juice” and “pure peer pressure in a bottle.” Some distilleries have even tried to make “more palatable” versions, but true Malört purists scoff at the idea. If it doesn’t taste like a leather fire hydrant marinated in regret, is it really Malört?

Even as it spreads beyond Chicago, Malört remains a liquid embodiment of the city itself: tough, unapologetic, and strangely lovable once you get past the initial pain. Because at the end of the day, taking a shot of Malört isn’t about enjoying it. It’s about proving you survived it.

Now, who’s ready for another round?